I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
