Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
