just come out here and I will go home with you...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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