Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
