Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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