so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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