Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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