He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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