He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my shit smells like andre
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
