found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize