Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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