ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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