If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
