So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
