I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
