I smell stomach acid.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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