Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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