Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am available for nakedness
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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