Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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