If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just found puke in my bra..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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