By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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