I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
