where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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