brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
