they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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