And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
