i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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