I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize