Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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