omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
