Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
