Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
