I will die if light touches me.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
