The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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