Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.

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(352): View more from Florida

New low: just hacked my moms facebook

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(805): View more from California

NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

(805): View more from California

He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You should probably go find him.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.

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(510): View more from California

I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear

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(909): View more from California

If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever

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