capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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