Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Have you learned any life lessons?

  (406): View more from Montana

  I like big butts and I cannot lie.

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  (303): Have you learned any life lessons? (406): I like big butts and I cannot lie. http://tfl.nu/s51u
  Replies (11) Good night (2715) Bad night (569)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.

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  (618): Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point. http://tfl.nu/67dv
  Replies (9) Good night (3884) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

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  (615): I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/yesg
  Replies (20) Good night (4096) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.

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  (765): let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment. http://tfl.nu/novi
  Replies (17) Good night (6976) Bad night (881)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it

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  (678): He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it http://tfl.nu/jk9d
  Replies (18) Good night (9550) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.

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  (608): I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here. http://tfl.nu/1bbr
  Replies (17) Good night (1061) Bad night (2679) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.

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  (817): In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles. http://tfl.nu/ov1n
  Replies (14) Good night (1238) Bad night (4436) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.

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  (512): If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome. http://tfl.nu/rgpf
  Replies (11) Good night (4293) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am

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  (724): I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am http://tfl.nu/gygo
  Replies (8) Good night (1539) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.

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  (619): You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos. http://tfl.nu/prke
  Replies (7) Good night (2022) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo

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  (714): i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/2wsz
  Replies (2) Good night (1065) Bad night (294) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually

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  (931): i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually http://tfl.nu/wdhn
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door

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  (336): We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door http://tfl.nu/uhw2
  Replies (4) Good night (398) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You can't just leave with hair like that

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  (248): You can't just leave with hair like that http://tfl.nu/83ql
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was

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  (815): Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was http://tfl.nu/efhi
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (159) Order T-Shirt

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