Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD