I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize