I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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