from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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