We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
