i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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