I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
