Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
