my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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