i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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