remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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