I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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