omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
