Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
