We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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