I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
