some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
