I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There's always time for handjobs
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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