I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
