So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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