The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize