You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
