Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
