Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is it because I queefed?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
