i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
