He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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