we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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