I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
