I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
