Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
