i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
