he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
