okay pat passed out under dana's car
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
