If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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