Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
