HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so let's talk penis.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
