im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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