Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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